This week opens up with Felicia Kerry and Cathy, all snug in their beds, calling themselves the “A-Listers” It’s kind of funny considering that Cathy was all about throwing Felicia under the bus last week.
Elsewhere in the Maresca house, Renee is calling her Mom yet again, asking for more advice and is told to be herself. We later learn that “being herself” constitutes being a whipped-cream sucking freak with a costume fetish. Awesome!
Meanwhile, Frank delivers his public service message that the girls need to be dressed to impress at a family party in under an hour. Many of the girls feel that their outfits they’ve packed are too sexy for a family party. Felicia, being somewhat more conservative in her style, is nice enough to loan Cathy one of her tops to hold back the hooters. Again, I find this rather odd considering how Cathy was all about throwing her under the bus last week.
The girls later find out that they’re bound for a party for Frank’s parents’ 39th wedding anniversary. Their challenge is to meet and greet the entire Maresca family — and extended family. They have to win over the entire crowd, not just an odd aunt or uncle. As a prize, the winner gets a one-on-one romantic date with Frank.
The girls set about to mingling and Felicia does a great job talking to each member of the family, offering to get them drinks. Dana also seems to do well. This week, however, Annie feels like she’s got a barrier to conquer with being somewhat socially awkward and turns into a total wallflower.
Melissa seems to be a hit with Frank’s namesake, Grandpa Frank who heard that she crushes beer cans with her boobs and asks for a demonstration. Melissa looks mortified and runs away when Grandpa Frank produces a beer can. (Uncle Frank gets two thumbs up in my book!)
Even with her sullied rep as The Crusher, Melissa is still doing better than Renee who is doing a bang-up job telling the entire family that she walked down the aisle and how her liar of a fiancé dumped her. Yeah. Way to exercise some discretion, Renee.
After Frank makes his toast to his parents, he informs the girls that tonight, it’s his family’s decision and not his to decide who wins the challenge. The family already has some notions about each of the girls. Frank’s cousin thinks Kerry looks like an orange. Lori, Frank’s sister, is not a fan of “The Crusher,” but loves fellow MBA-chick Felicia, even though several of the guys think she looks evil with her arched eyebrows.
To cap off their challenge, the girls have to make an anniversary toast to Ma and Pa Maresca. Kerry is up first and does well enough. Melody comes across as ver sweet and tells Gary and Susan that she’s fallen in love with them like she has with Frank before morphing into a puddle of tears. While this would be irritating with anyone else, Frank’s parents say that they would be happy to have Melody in their family.
Cathy, on the other hand, makes the Maresca family look mute by comparison and gives a mind-numbing, painfully long speech. Melissa awkwardly laughs her way through an awful speech, while Annie manages to come off as cute and sweet. Up next is Dana Downer who tears up and talks about her own parents’ divorce. Felicia’s speech is short, yet classy. Renee is up last and gets all sorts of teary and goofy with her speech, which prompts Mama Maresca to tell the camera that she thinks Renee and her two failed engagements have no business getting all Ann Landers on her.
Following the toasts, Frank passes out surveys to his family guests and they choose a girl for each category. The men in the family thought Kerry was the hottest girl, and then thought Felicia was the most likely to get him out of the basement. Kerry and Melody were voted likely to be best Mom, while Felicia would host best Christmas dinner. Although it came really close between Kerry and Felicia, Felicia turns up as the ultimate winner who gets the date with Frank.
Annie feels like crap because she blew her shot by being shy, while Chatty Cathy is super upset that she hasn’t won a challenge.
After making their exit from the party, Frank takes Felicia on a romantic date, overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge and one of his favorite spots. Sipping champagne, Frank comes off as really sweet and compliments Felicia on her brains and beauty. He gives her a gift for winning over her whole family: a framed photo of her with the family. She says how she wishes she had something to give back to him. Frank gives her another gift, giving Felicia her key a day in advance, telling her that she doesn’t have to wait until tomorrow’s eliminations to know she’s safe for having won over his whole family.
Back at the house, Renee whines to the rest of the girls that she feels hurt that she wasn’t picked. Cathy is still complaining about her lack of “alone time” with Frank, but decides to make her own opportunity by sneaking downstairs to the basement. They cover up the cameras and Frank asks to see her ass. Seriously. Now that’s some romance right there.
Three minutes later, Cathy and Frank are shown on-camera coming up with a cover story that they gave each other massages, watched a game and then fell asleep.
Upstairs, some of the girls notice that Cathy’s bed hasn’t been slept in and begin making assumptions with Melissa leading the charge. Renee is freaked out by Frank possibly having had sex with Cathy, while Melissa doesn’t like the thought of being sloppy seconds. Sweet little romantic Annie mentions that if Cathy and Frank had sex, that would change the entire dynamic of the house and would mean that those two had a bond that no one else had with Frank. Meanwhile, Kerry keeps harping that she and Cathy are best friends and if Cathy had sex with Frank, she feels confident that she’d tell her. Kerry spills the beans to Cathy and tells her that Melissa had been spreading rumors that Cathy had sex with Frank. Cathy decides to tell Frank about what was going on and that she’s not too thrilled with it. Frank isn’t too pleased, either, because if Frank’s parents find out, they’ll be pretty angry.
Inspired by Cathy’s bold move, Renee then decides to sneak on down to the basement herself to give Freaky Frankie a show of her own, dressed in a Moulin Rouge-style barmaid costume and hides in his closet. Seriously.
Outside, Frank has a talk with Melissa, chiding her that she shouldn’t have been spreading rumors. Melissa admits to him that she was jealous and wished it was her in the basement with him. Frank seems pretty forgiving, but worn out by the drama, he retires to his basement where Renee jumps out of the closet, scaring the bejeezus out of him. She likes costumes and has a collection of them and then proceeds to take a can of whipped cream to Frank’s stomach and licks it off. Frank is seriously creeped out and I can’t say I blame him as Renee laughs maniacally and looks as if she’ll bust out with a rousing chorus of “I will not be ignored” at any second.
At eliminations, it’s revealed that Felicia already got her key. Kerry gets the second key was considered the one to be the best fit in the family. Frank gives Cathy the third key and touts just how much “fun” she is and says that he wants to hang out with her more. If only Mama and Papa Maresca had a clue as to just how fun Cathy really is!
It’s down to the bottom two with Melissa and Renee. Frank humiliates Renee by telling everyone all about her jumping out of his closet in a costume, painting him with whipped cream. She justifies herself by saying that Frank said he was a freak and wanted to see her freaky side. Frank then tells her that this was beyond freaky and raised to Red Alert Freaky Deaky level that set off all sorts of red flags (along with her string of failed engagements.) He gives her a hug and sends her on her merry, freaky little way. I kind of felt bad for Renee, as loony as she was. It seemed like she was singled out for humiliation and to be laughed at.
With her gone, that means Melissa gets to stay, and should thank her lucky stars that Renee was such a freak.
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